The Condom Face
Day 2 - Stop the Sperm
So. Inform hubby this morning that for a few weeks, we need to use another form of birth control, to give this uterus a chance to heal and, well, replenish, before potentially housing any baby.
me: Hey, don’t I recall, from years and years ago, that you have some sort of reaction to birth control with spermicides in them?
him: Yes. That would be yes. And that reaction would be stinging. Stinging is not good. I think that stuff is called "penicide".
me: OK, OK, now I remember. So no sponges or anything like that. You know, that pretty much just leaves us with condoms. Are you cool with that for a few weeks?
him: (making an ugly face)
me: What is that? What kind of face is that?
him: The condom face. This is the condom face.
me: Well what do you suggest we do, then?
him: I don’t know, but while we’re at the whole condom thing, why don’t you just wrap your boobs in saran wrap and then let me touch them.
The man is spoiled.
