Child very ill with yarf bug.  As he is moaning and wretching over the toilet, it is dawning on me that this could be me, in a few months, for a few months.  Ack.  Just thinking about it brings that lump to the back of my throat, right at the gag reflex.  Ugh. 

Hubby and I decided to drink it up the last week or so, as wine is our favorite beverage and I’m about to shift into wine in very small amounts.  Sounds alchoholic, doesn’t it?  Well, let’s just say I don’t have to have it, but boy, do I like it.  We’ve picked out a few fav vintages and labels, and are thoroughly enjoying it.  Through Sunday evening.  Then, weekends only, and in real moderation.  Can’t be yanked for a couple of weeks and not know I’m pregnant.  I don’t think that’s recommended in the countdown to conception books.  Aaahhh.  I’m missing it already.  So sad.

In other arenas, I’ve become practically obsessed with infertility blogs.  And now I’m getting all freaked that I’ll have this struggle too.  That I’ll miscarry.  So why am I torturing myself?  It’s just that these women (and men) have so much passion about what their pursuing.  A child to love.  It puts our ease with having the three we have into such perspective.  I see the blessing and fortune more clearly.  I realize better how little we knew about what some people struggled so deeply with, as I was bitching about back aches and nausea.  Which I’ll probably do again, but I’ll also consider these women, and hopefully, get my whining under control in short(er) order. I don’t think I’ll ever gripe about worrying that we’d get pregnant when we didn’t want to again.  I see with much more clarity now.  And for those who have fought to have a baby, and are pregnant now?  Their experiences are so special and filled with joy, apprehension, the knowledge of how blessed they are, and enthusiasm, that it’s got me hooked.  And it’s fun to share the enthusiasm and waiting with someone else.  I just hope they won’t mind my lurking around, while so far, getting pregnant has not been an issue for us.  I would never mean to seem insensitive. 

Time for another popcicle for the sickie.