So now, only 13 days after the removal, I’m all irritated and whatnot that I’ve got no signals as to when I may have a normal cycle.  Unless, somehow, we got pregnant that one time, right after it was taken out, and I think I may have been ovulating, but Mr. 4tops, didn’t, um, er, finish off the job, so to speak, internally.  How random and improbable would that be (and INFURIATING to any couple struggling to get pregnant).  The only thing that bugs me about this, and this is far out, is that a few nights ago, I dreamed that this scenario is exactly what has happened.  And as off as that sounds, I have a history of dreaming these sorts of things and them being true.  Or coming true.  So as great as getting pregnant is when you think or know you really want a baby, the timing would be off as far as my uterus being as cushy as possible for hosting such an event right now. 

So feeling that this is highly unlikely, and my dreams do not have a 100% record, I went and got some Black Cohosh, and Red Raspberry tea, to aid in the bringing on of my period. Koo koo.  But some sites like this one, just swear by these herbs for regulating, not to mention bringing about an herbal spontaneous abortion, which of course I think is horrible, but some women must feel desperate enough.  I’ll try not to judge.

OK, great.  Now in linking that site up, I saw, after taking a hefty dose of the Black Cohosh, that it should not be used in conjuction with antidepressants.  What gives?  I’ll have to go Google that… 

And I’m only feeling better.  And angrier.  This IUD thing could have had me more cranky/low energy for the last 5 years than necessary? 

And still so back and forth, forth and back on whether or not we can handle another baby. And an ugly day out to a Tom Chapin show, lunch and shoe shopping did not help the possibilities at all.  Yesterday, I didn’t want the three we have.  And I know how ungrateful that sounds.  Yes, there are so many hurting women who are struggling so to have one child.  But it’s just the truth.  No matter how wanted or desperately strived for a child is, there are days you will wish you were aaaaalllll alone. 

And the show we went to was not for any children under 3.  So that got me going down the road of having have sitters, of breastfeeding, of budgets for sitters and the lack thereof.  And a design show on TLC last night featured cool contemporary baby furniture.  And that got me going down the road of we have no baby stuff any more. 

I keep asking Mr. 4tops do you really think we should do this.  And he keeps saying the same thing.  He doesn’t want to ignore a feeling and regret when we’re older.  OK.  I get it.  But before we’re older, we’re younger and we have to get through the early years of pregnancy and babyhood, and toddlerhood, and teething, and potty training, and diapers, and 3 hour feeding cycles, and and and…

He had a vomit bug this weekend.  And questioned every smell in the house from a fog of nausea.  Welcome to the world of feeling pregnant, I was glib.  Try that for 3 months.  Or 4, or 9.  Who voluntarily signs up for that?  Someone who wants another baby.