It’s been soooo long since I had a period, a full cycle, that I cannot remember how I would have felt 8-9 days out from starting.  Was my belly this full feeling?  Have I just eaten too much?  It just feels heavy.  Isn’t this normal PMS?  I just feel aware of my abdomen like, all the time.  I probably have myself psyched into a state of craziness. 

I. am. so. impatient. 

Still normal?  Or was that that mild, strange crampy feeling that is not pre-period?  Am I just experiencing a normal lack of interest in my mandatory morning coffee?  Am I extra tired in the mornings because I’m staying up too late, and having one too many glasses of wine in the evening?  In feeling convinced I am not, indeed, pregnant this month, am I aleady creating a little wino embryo?  And does she prefer Chardonnay, or Pinot Noir?