I peed on the proverbial stick.  Negative.  Of course.  As I’ve said before, even 2 and 3 days after my period should have started, and I was indeed pregnant with our other children, those stupid EPTs said negative. 

Worse.  I told Mr. 4tops I was going to the grocery while he was in the shower this morning so I could get milk for the kids’ breakfast cereal. Which was true.  But no way would I have dragged my ass out of bed for some milk.  We could have had bagels.  I went so A.  I could buy a dumb EPT, and 2. So I could pee on it before I had my first pee of the day.  So all the way through Bilo, I’m practically bent over, holding the all night’s worth of pee in, so I can rush home, tear down my pants, rip open the package, insert quickly for the pee stream to hit, and get a big fat negative.  Which I knew I would get.   

Why am I so weak?  And why would I buy that lame advertising that I can test 5 days sooner than I expect my period (and when you read the insert, it says 4 days.  Four.  Not five.)? 

So now I can believe it.  Or not.  And of course, I can always help those guys that manufacture these idiotic sticks, and buy some more.  For no reason other than to help their Porshe payments.  Because I am in the 31% that doesn’t have enough HCG to register in the early weeks.  But I keep on buying.  Lucky bastards.