Um, while I am very embarrased to report, I have promised myself complete honesty in this little jaunt, to either another baby, or the definitive end of this road for us.

Big HPT Co. Man: 3

Crazed Mrs. 4tops: 0 

Could I just start already, or get some clear sign?  I truly, truly, truly do not know how women who long months, years for a baby don’t just finally crack into a billion little pieces.  My deepest prayers and sympathies are with you, even though I would never begin to pretend I know what you’re feeling.

I just know I’m a wus.

Is that unusual zittage on my forehead?   

Was that a slightly gaggy feeling in the back of my throat just now?  Or am I hungry.  Or niether.  Oh, bother.

Let’s review.  I have no discernable symptoms that can definitely determine anything other than A. I am OCD, and B.  I am, indeed, female.  Close examination of certain parts confirm this theory.

If I want to push it?  Hmmmm, maybe more hungry than normal when I wake the last few mornings.  Usually don’t even think hungry til like, 11:00.  Now, it could seem that I am hungry upon eyes opening.  But you never know.

What else.  I have had to pee in the middle of night a few times over the last week, but then, if I drink wine in the evenings, and um, I have been, I always drink a couple of glasses of water before bed.  Helps with hangover dehydration.

When I do this, don’t I always get up in the night to pee?  I can’t recall.  Maybe.  Maybe not.

Let’s see.  Still not a huge fan of coffee.  Drinking it out of necessity.  Not really desiring it.  Normal?  Maybe.  Thought I smelled coffee half the way home from Black Mountain this past Sunday, with the rest of the family saying no, no coffee smell.  Who knows.

I have very mild crampy awareness of my abdomen.  PMS?

 
I’ve only eaten cheese sandwiches the last 2 days for lunch, but then, we’ve been low on groceries.

Is waking up earlier than normal, with out the alarm clock an early pregnancy symptom.  I nearly never do this, and have like 3 times out of the last 7 mornings.  But then, I’ve already self diagnosed OCD, so maybe my brain is just whirring away on something.  Like whether or not I’m about to start my period.  Or not.

If I go looking, there is creamy (sorry) CM.  But definitely not gobs like many women report, and I remember more of myself about 9.5 years ago with our second.  I don’t recall any, or anything about this with my 3rd.  I do recall having those funky symptoms around the 3 days conception could have occured, but that they would wax and wane for the next 2 weeks until I got a positive test.  Then I would feel pretty normal for another 2 weeks, til BAM.  Sick and exhausted.

And that my favorite Tuna Melt from the sandwich shop around the corner from where we lived for number 2 just didn’t taste right, right before I found out.

Can you take a basal temp once you’ve been up a little while?

Where are those charts from conceiving number one…

And confession.  On inspect for blue veins day, I did another HPT.  Oh yeah. BFN.  Score another one for the Rich HPT Company man on this hill.  Him? 2.  Me?  Zippo.